Permission to Change

We are in the process of moving houses and I have a longer commute now.

The past two mornings, I have tried a couple different things on my longer commute--playing mobile games, reading, looking out the window--but this morning I was struck by the idea that we need to allow ourselves room to change, grow, and even reset at times. A move is a great time to think about these things because you are likely to handle every single thing you own and question every single habit you have formed in recent memory. For us, our last move was almost nine years ago and a lot has changed in those years.

Every time I bring up the idea of starting over, of getting rid of everything I own and focusing on what I actually need, I am rebuffed by simply "well, you can't do that" for a variety of reasons, some more valid than others.¹ In the past nine years, I grew into a father of three, a husband of 14 years, and a bit of a new-tech luddite. But we all deserve the permission to change aspects of our lives that no longer serve us. I talk about this a lot with regard to things, but why not also think about changes within behaviors, perspectives, or habits. Why can't I change the way I work, the hobbies I nurture, or the people I associate myself with based on my current context?

Context is key here. Our soon-to-be-former house was full of trauma, wrought by an unforeseeable pandemic. Why should I "have to" keep behaviors from a space that no longer feels as inviting as it once did. As we move, my family is feeling a variety of emotions; one for me is grief associated with my sudden level of relief about moving. I don't know what the future holds and I don't know what behaviors (good and bad) this new space will bring, but for now, I intend to give myself permission to change however the new context moves me.

1. Perhaps the reasons not to do so will need to be a future topic. ↩