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The Couples Room Mate Syndrome

The following post was originally written as a guest post I did for the friend who writes the Room Mate Files, but that blog no longer exists.  Therefore, I wanted to share it here, so it at least got some air time!  I will also work to get her other posts quoted on this Tumblog…

Before my wife was… my wife… she was my room mate.  We had a series of room mates that were daring enough to stay with us while we were a couple.  To say the least, these stories never turned out well.  We had room mates that were religious fanatics, jealous of our relationship, or just plain creepy.  The story I want to bring to light from the depths of my memory is that of Joel (not the true name).  Joel was in a relationship of his own, but not a particularly satisfying one; the girl fooled around on him with another one of our mutual friends.  As such, Joel was not happy that my wife and I were happy!  Read on for the full story…

Often times, Joel would find us hanging out in the common area and would complain that we had made it our own and that it simply was not a welcoming place to him.  He felt like he always had to be in his room or else he would be subjected to our relationship.  Boo friggin’ hoo!  We invited him to develop the space as shared, we told him that he could easily bring his girlfriend over and make us just as uncomfortable, as he stated we made him.  Either way, he never did; he just continued to complain.  There were times when he would make the place his own, but it only led to ridiculously large piles of dirty dishes and the sounds of gross fat people sex in the adjoining bedroom.

This is where I explain why it was a big deal that fat people were having sex in that room.  My wife bought a twin bed for the second bedroom for herself (if we ever got into fights) or for others, should someone want to visit.  When Joel moved in, we offered the bed to him in the event that he pay my wife back for the use.  This was not followed consistently and the bed was the worse for wear after all was said and done for the aforementioned fat people sex romps.  This point is really just the icing on the cake for a bad room mate experience.

Besides the petty squabbles, Joel was aloof; he didn’t want to have anything to do with my wife and me by the end because of our relationship, which leads me to the bottom line and moral of this story: if you want to live with a couple and you are not in a happy relationship yourself, don’t complain about coupley things.  In this case, the third party knew that we were a happy couple prior to moving in.  He was even our friend beforehand, but due to jealousy and thickheadedness, the relationships have been squashed under such heavy people’s asses.