The Couples Room Mate Syndrome

The following post was originally written as a guest post I did for the friend who writes the Room Mate Files, but that blog no longer exists.  Therefore, I wanted to share it here, so it at least got some air time!  I will also work to get her other posts quoted on this Tumblog…

Before my wife was… my wife… she was my room mate.  We had a series of room mates that were daring enough to stay with us while we were a couple.  To say the least, these stories never turned out well.  We had room mates that were religious fanatics, jealous of our relationship, or just plain creepy.  The story I want to bring to light from the depths of my memory is that of Joel (not the true name).  Joel was in a relationship of his own, but not a particularly satisfying one; the girl fooled around on him with another one of our mutual friends.  As such, Joel was not happy that my wife and I were happy!  Read on for the full story…

Often times, Joel would find us hanging out in the common area and would complain that we had made it our own and that it simply was not a welcoming place to him.  He felt like he always had to be in his room or else he would be subjected to our relationship.  Boo friggin’ hoo!  We invited him to develop the space as shared, we told him that he could easily bring his girlfriend over and make us just as uncomfortable, as he stated we made him.  Either way, he never did; he just continued to complain.  There were times when he would make the place his own, but it only led to ridiculously large piles of dirty dishes and the sounds of gross fat people sex in the adjoining bedroom.

This is where I explain why it was a big deal that fat people were having sex in that room.  My wife bought a twin bed for the second bedroom for herself (if we ever got into fights) or for others, should someone want to visit.  When Joel moved in, we offered the bed to him in the event that he pay my wife back for the use.  This was not followed consistently and the bed was the worse for wear after all was said and done for the aforementioned fat people sex romps.  This point is really just the icing on the cake for a bad room mate experience.

Besides the petty squabbles, Joel was aloof; he didn’t want to have anything to do with my wife and me by the end because of our relationship, which leads me to the bottom line and moral of this story: if you want to live with a couple and you are not in a happy relationship yourself, don’t complain about coupley things.  In this case, the third party knew that we were a happy couple prior to moving in.  He was even our friend beforehand, but due to jealousy and thickheadedness, the relationships have been squashed under such heavy people’s asses.


Read, Think, Share, Repeat

The Challenges of 2020

TL;DR: Follow this link.

One of the craziest things about Christianity during the protests of the last few weeks is the fact that there are churches out there not discussing the issues honestly, not taking the time to have the hard conversations, not devoting their Sunday services to betterment of the world and people around them. If you’re church isn’t talking about racism right now, if they don’t mention that black lives matter, instead focusing on platitudes that equate to the all lives matter” sentiment, it is time to start looking for a new church.

My wife and I meet with my home” church virtually via Zoom since the pandemic is still a thing. Kimball Avenue United Church of Christ & La Iglesia Episcopal de Nuestra Señora de las Américas (KANSA, together) combined in a collaborative way to create a single denomination focused on the needs of their community. They follow Christ together toward the vision of love, reconciliation, peace and justice. The justice looks like the demolition and rehabilitation of an old church building and its grounds into a community garden and labyrinth open to all who seek peace through contemplation.

I give this elevator speech to mention that COVID has not been kind to faith communities in general. Budgets have been slashed, funding and grants have been cut, and congregations in need are also working to serve those in need, who are less likely to be able to financially support their church in these times. KANSA in one of the good ones. They speak truth, they have the difficult conversations, they preach in a loud voice every Sunday that black lives matter, that racism has no place in the church, that the LGBTQ community deserves respect and support, and that Jesus was a social justice warrior, who fought for the least of these no matter who they were, where they were from, what they looked like.

In fact, Jesus was most harsh to those who had the means to help and decided not to answer the call.

These systems of oppression we are protesting have been around a long time; they have screwed up a lot of lives, they have been the reason for revolution and the downfall of entire civilizations, they don’t work. We need to find a better way to live by supporting each other. And support has to come in systemic, social, financial, and political ways, both national and local.

I am not local to KANSA anymore, but I support their mission, the way that mission manifests in the world, and the simple fact that they follow Jesus no matter how ostracizing that position can be at times. Which brings me to the point:

Thanks to a $10,000 matching gift’ from an anonymous donor, the challenge has become an opportunity. Over the next two months, we plan to raise at least $10,000 to meet the challenge. Through August 31, 2020, every donation we receive toward our 2020 Challenge” no matter how small or how large will be doubled by the matching gift.

KANSA is hurting financially and needs support, they do good work and are unabashedly progressive in their approach to our world. Donate now and see your contribution matched to keep one of the good ones fighting the good fight.

Thank you for your consideration.